the founder

Matthew's Story

This is not a story shared for sympathy or inspiration. It is shared to explain why Rise Up was built the way it was. The programme was created from lived experience of chaos, addiction, relapse and recovery, and from the understanding that insight alone is rarely enough. Structure, repetition and community were what made lasting change possible.

This page contains references to childhood trauma, addiction, relapse and suicidal thoughts. Please read at your own pace and step away if needed.

About The Programme

Why I Am Sharing This

I am not sharing my story for sympathy or inspiration. I am sharing it because Rise Up was not built for mild problems. It was built because my life was chaotic, repetitive and destructive, and insight alone never stopped it.

If structure could hold me, it can hold you too.

Early Patterns

From an early age, I felt unsafe and disconnected. My childhood involved abuse and neglect, and the impact shaped how I saw the world. I learned that people leave and safety disappears.

I grew up hyper alert and ashamed, constantly scanning for rejection. I wore masks and controlled situations because uncertainty felt dangerous.

Addiction as Relief

Drugs and alcohol arrived as relief. They quietened fear and gave temporary confidence. For a time they worked, until they did not.

For more than eighteen years I repeated the same cycle. I promised change. I understood my behaviour. Yet when stress or shame appeared, old patterns took over.

Understanding Was Not Enough

One of the hardest truths I faced was that knowing better did not make me do better.

I understood addiction and trauma, yet when emotionally activated my body reacted before my mind could intervene. I had insight, but I did not have structure strong enough to hold me.

Collapse and Consequence

Over time, the consequences escalated. Relationships followed the same painful pattern. My addiction damaged trust and safety for those closest to me.

Eventually, after another relapse with serious consequences, I lost everything that mattered to me. With that loss came awareness without regulation. I knew how far I had fallen and could not see a way back.

When I Nearly Did Not Return

There was a point where I did not want to be alive. Not dramatically, but quietly and exhaustively. I had a plan and was ready to act.

One message asking for help, and one reply, interrupted that moment. It did not fix everything, but it kept me alive long enough to try again.

What Changed

This time I stopped waiting to feel ready. I committed to structure.I showed up when ashamed. I accepted accountability. I practised tools repeatedly. I worked with my nervous system instead of fighting it.

Change came slowly. Not because of a breakthrough, but because I relied on what I practised rather than how I felt.

Why Rise Up Exists

Rise Up exists because I needed something that worked on my worst days.

It exists because structure creates safety. Because repetition builds stability. Because community interrupts isolation.

I built Rise Up from lived experience and from learning what happens when structure is missing.

A Final Word

You do not need to have lived my story for this to be relevant to you. The details may differ. The patterns rarely do.

You do not need to be perfect to do this work. You need to be willing.

If this structure could hold me at my worst, it can help you build a life you no longer need to escape from.

0151 283 0013 | support@riseuprecovery.co.uk